Sunday, January 17, 2021
St. John’s Lutheran Church, Schuyler, NE
Second Sunday after Epiphany
watch this service online (readings start around 15:27; sermon starts around 24:49)
image source
One of the most powerful acts of love I have ever received did not feel like love at all while it was happening to me. It came in the form of a very difficult conversation that a friend had with me during my first year of college. This friend was another student in the music department who was a few years older than me, and she warned me that I was starting to develop a reputation for being kind of arrogant and full of myself.
I had come to college out of a very small, K-12 school – there were only 17 kids in my graduating class! And being good at music was a big part of my identity – it was my thing (not only did I win the senior musician award my senior year, I was the only person who was even eligible for it that year, lol). I was kind of used to being hot stuff, the lead singer on things. But when I got to college, even though it was a relatively small university, I was suddenly surrounded by lots of people who were the best singers from their schools – and they came from schools that were a lot bigger and better funded than mine.
It was extremely intimidating. And I think I developed that sense of arrogance and pridefulness as a kind of defense mechanism, to hide that underneath it there was this profound insecurity and a loss of a sense of identity. And so I didn’t want to believe what my friend was saying to me at first – how could I possibly be coming across as arrogant when that wasn’t at all how I felt on the inside? But she repeated back to me some of the things she had heard me say, and I heard my own pridefulness come through those words loud and clear. It was a painfully humbling experience.
And as hard as it was for me to hear what she had to say to me, I can’t imagine how hard it must have been for her to say it. It’s one thing to call out someone you don’t like for their poor behavior – but to call out someone you care about for the way they’re behaving is much, much harder. And my friend did it for my benefit, pointing out that my defensiveness and ego were pushing people away and making it hard for me to make more friends in the department. That hard conversation helped me let down my walls a little bit and connect more deeply and authentically with other people, many of whom I’m still friends with to this day. And it was humbling to realize after the fact that she chose to be so brutally honest with me because she cared enough about her friendship with me to say the hard thing. I’m grateful for the courage and care she showed in telling me the truth.




















